Norwich Kebab and Pizza House, January 6th 2007

Norwich Kebab and Pizza House

81 Prince of Wales Road
Norwich
NR1 1BL

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You know the scenario, you've had a lot to drink. You told yourself you'd know when you'd had enough, you'd keep yourself under control, you'd show some restraint. That hasn't happened. In your drunken stupor, you decide that despite the cost, you could really go for a huge burger, chips and a coke because fuck it, it's only money right? So you wander to the nearest cashpoint, where various other people with the same idea are already queueing. What I can't understand about the Norwich Kebab and Pizza House is its on a slope. Strangely it's not the same slope that Prince of Wales Road is on, it slopes in a completely different direction all of its own. Combined with the balance problems that have already developed as a result of said beverage consumption, it just makes a mockery of the convenience that this eatery is supposed to be providing. So there you are, grasping £30 of notes because you couldn't focus on the cash point screen enough to choose the amount you really wanted, so you just pushed a button, any button, as long it dispensed enough currency to exchange for food. Then you proceed to take on some ludicrous Generation Game style challenge of staggering up the slope to the counter to order food. Having acquired your food, you look for a seat and guess what? The seats are cut at the bottom to make straight in comparison to the slope. One of them is wobbly, which only really adds to the challenge as a whole. So, eventually you haul yourself onto one of the stools, like an adventurer escaping an erupting volcano, a river of lava slowly flowing over all that stands before it, and climb to safety. Once there, you'll find that the chili sauce is rather good, and the rest is rather not.

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Verdict: I often talk about the little things making the difference when opting for your early hours eatery. An unecessarily large slope, when rightly or wrongly, you're feeling extremely lazy is all in all, pretty bad news. The food doesn't do enough to make this amount of effort remotely worthwhile, and there are better options for this kind of food as near as next door. All in all, nothing much to write home about.