Tenlu, August 24th 2007

Tenlu

28 Earlham West Centre

Norwich

NR5 8AD

United Kingdom

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First it was Gillian McKeith ruining sausages for the great consuming public, then it was Jamie Oliver with his chicken nugget expose. If takeaway has one virtue, then it is the light relief it provides from the obsessive calorie counting and preachiness from the healthy eating crusaders. Of course, that argument has its limits. Tenlu's food is not good for you, and it's not a particularly well kept secret. Try leaving one of their dishes out on the side overnight, and analyse the congealed, greasy, heart attack inducing sauce that is in the process of making its way slowly through your digestive system the following morning. The benefits? Well, it's cheap. If you spend over £15, they'll even include some complimentary mini spring roles or samosas, as well as the standard prawn crackers you pretty much everywhere. It's just hard not to acknowledge that what you're eating is so blatently and unashamedly bad for you. The grease on the brown paper bag, the slightly soggy noodles, it all screams 'don't do it! Don't be stupid!' It doesn't sit particularly well in your stomach either. I've felt ill on numerous occasions, quickly regretting the who episode like a divorcee with their former partner's name tattooed across their arm.

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Generally you can expect a 45 minute wait, and the food usually arrives tepid, so microwaving is advisable. Should you have to put up with that? No, not really. It's open til 11 nightly, but closed during holidays. In truth, Tenlu used to be the Chinese takeaway on speed dial in my house, but frankly given the extensive competition, you can do better. It's all style, but there's no substance to it. It isn't filling. Full of saturates, salt and God knows what else, it leaves you wondering what the hell is in your food. We all know that takeaway is bad for us, and that if your diet consisted of takeaway and that alone, your liver would probably pickle itself, but Tenlu are worse for this unenviable characteristic than most. Give it a wide birth, I intend to.