Barbour Jackets?

by Alex Allen
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Why are people wearing these? Sorry, I'll amend that, why are normal people wearing these? We're all used to middle aged couples called Phil and Sue wandering around our dull, lifeless countryside smelling like candles, but young people? You'll be bald and middle aged soon enough, don't bring it upon yourself earlier than you have to! It's not just Barbours, Emmerdale is doing well, too. Suddenly, people like farming and apparently all the accessories that come as part of it. People are actually watching a programme which looks like somebody walking around the village I grew up in with a camcorder, it's unbelievable. I admire farmers, it's nice having vegetables, meat and all the other good things that come with their work, but I have never felt the need to take my admiration so far as to actually impersonate one of them. What's the future? Dingy indie clubs with One Man and His Dog playing on a projector on the wall? The Foals writing the music played at Crufts? This is surely the most unholy of all unions. These jackets don't even look good, there's no obvious appeal, they look like the inside of a sleeping bag - there's nothing 'outdoorsy' about it! Barbour's biggest fan? The Queen. Who would have thought it, the day when elderly and young fashion merged in to one. Fuck it, let's all just start buying packs of 5, elasticated, beige trousers from the magazine that comes free with our grandparents' Sunday Mail and be done with it.