The Common Cold

by Alex J Allen

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You never seem to remember this annoying trait of the British winter when you're lapping up the rays in the summer, but suffering from a continuous cold seems to be almost mandatory from about mid October through to the beginning of March. Having a cold is one of my least favourite things; it makes you feel utterly shit, but without any of the perks of being properly ill. People still expect you to do things with a cold, you actually have to get up, go to work and be generally active throughout the day. Nobody else gives a shit about your cold, they make no allowances for you feeling awful at all. Sure, you can take the day off, but then you face the prospect of being one of those people that takes days off for a cold. People start looking at you differently, like somehow you've let 'the team' (who, regardless of personel, you don't give a fuck about) down. A few weeks ago I came down with something the masses are calling 'man flu'. I was looked after by my girlfriend, even my flatmate generally empathasised. So, despite being generally bed ridden, feeling dizzy, nautious and the rest, in some ways it was actually better. I could just lounge around the house, wear my 1999 'vintage' Adidas trousers that aren't suitable for outside wear, and do all the things I'd never had time to before, like learn how to suffle cards and watch the entire back catalogue of Fireman Sam episodes on demand. People felt sorry for me, nobody was expecting me to do anything, I could just vegitate in front of a sitcom marathon amidst a pile of sweet and crisp wrappers. Am I wishing illness upon myself? No, of course not, that would be ridiculous. All I'm saying, is that if I've got to get sick at all, I just want to do it properly, that's all.