It wasn't that long ago that the only person on TV who was allowed to cook anything was Delia. She would cook things, release sporadic books documenting how these dishes were made, and we, the people, would follow her lead and make them too. Before Delia, I just assume that people didn't cook. They would just stare blankly at their ingredients, and eat them raw individually. Back then, any man who tried his hand at making food seemed like some kind of dangerous new agey liberal. Now, things are different. People have since realised that Delia's food was boring. They have also realised that she was boring, as has since been proven by her new cook book 'Delia's Frugal Cooking'. Bleurgh. As that was happening, Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver came to the fore, shouting fuck and pukka and making cooking in general seem OK for men to do. The general rule, is that as long as you don't use any adjectives, it's OK. Just use verbs, big, manly verbs. Chop, slice, dice, crunch - all absolutely fine. Somewhere along the line, the man was made redundant from his job as hunter and gatherer. Now, Tesco does all our hunting and gathering for us, it packages the products, cleans them. All we have to do is pick them off the shevles and push them to the car. Gordon Ramsay was voted the man most men would like to be in 2008, and although Jamie Oliver's perennial crusades against obesity became a bit much (if they want to kill themselves with kebabs, leave them to it), the point was made. Men, could cook. And not just men in bright chef's whites, fussing over Michelin starred food in London and Paris, ordinary men. The kind of men who wander around corner shops trying to find balsamic vinegar or marjoram for the impressive pasta dish they're attempting to impress their girlfriend with. I think part of this cooking revolution is that all men, essentially, want to be superheroes. It's unfinished childhood business. Unfortunately, it's not possible, no matter how much Fathers 4 Justice might want it to be. The nearest thing you can get, is to be Cooking Man! Yes, I am a normal man, I work a nine til five job, I drive a crappy car and I live in a small, sparsely decorated flat, but when the the clock strikes seven, I become 'Cooking Man!' Watch as I turn this milk, butter and flour in to a simple roux before your very eyes! This is why you never hear about any man's cooking skills straight away. He likes to lure guests to his apartment and lower their expectations. Then, when they're expecting the worst, he announces it! 'I, Alexander James Allen, (pause for effect) can cook! Marvel at my souffle! Gasp at my roasted sea bass!' Then, he sits back and enjoys the new found respect from his peers.
Of course, there are still things that aren't acceptable. If you wear an apron, especially one that has some sort of witty slogan on it, you will look like an idiot. Anything like 'what's cookin' good lookin'' and you can look forward to a lifetime of enforced celibacy. The same applies to any amateur that opts for the French chef's hat. I don't even know where those are available for purchase, but if you do, again, you will look like an idiot. The bottom line is that cooking has been opened up to the masses. Yes, as Jamie Oliver's latest crusade teaching people to pass on recipes to each other proved, some people are extremely stupid. Rotherham will apparently only continue to exist because of the development of ready meals and the medical advancement that has allowed surgeons to suck the fat inducing remnants of those ready meals back out of those who consume them. However, in theory, any man may cook, it's just about promoting the right image.
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