Housekeeping

You may have noticed, or alternatively are just realising this very moment, that the advertisements on Rooha are gone. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is because I failed. Make no mistake, I would happily have sold out and renamed this magazine the Rowntree Fruit Pastels Online Magazine, I really would. Equally, I would have loved for our hoards of visitors, and believe me, there are hoards, to click on our Google ads in great numbers and let me retire by the age of 23. Sadly, this didn't happen. This was probably because firstly, people don't like clicking on adverts, and secondly, because our adverts were shit. You see, Google ads works, or doesn't work as the case may be, by taking random words from our entries and generating adverts that will, in theory, be relevant to you, our readers. Google, sadly, never planned for ROOHA, where articles about vending machines can peacefully coexist with angry prose about the decline of Woolworths. So when adverts reading 'Knitting jumpers - need wool?' appeared and nobody clicked, it wasn't particularly surprising. In fact in four months the website made $0.12, and although I can't confirm for sure, I think that was me. Also, in response to suggestions that ROOHA was responsible for the Virgin complaint letter that did the rounds recently, we weren't, much as I would like to take credit for that excellent work and the rage that influenced it.