I''ve discovered a new sign at the checkouts today. It reads 'would customers please be aware that in the interests of hygiene, briefs are non refundable'. It made me think. Firstly, if we're talking about making hygiene, quite a boring subject I think we'd all agree, interesting, then maybe we should let people return them. Perhaps more worryingly, what had happened to make this sign that appeared to be little more than common sense necessary? I shuddered to think. Although after some of the people I'd met and gaped in concerned fashion at over the past week and a half, it would I thought, explain a lot.
aaa
In the absence of any authentic Primark carrier bags, we were going with plain white today, a decision which infuriated one woman, who argued that 'she didn't want her clothes to look like some cheap market knock offs or anything'. No sorry, that should have ready 'anyfing' - Apologies. To be honest, I'm not sure whether it was her gold hoop earrings, her Chinese writing tattoo, or the pram she was pushing, but I didn't think we were going to have call Quincy out on his day off on this one. 'Cheap' was a word she was going to have to get used to hearing loud and often, Primark bag or no Primark bag. The following customer screamed at me for not knowing where New Look was, and came in a full fifteen minutes to tell us that she'd found it on her own, and that we were all 'idiots'. That may be true, but my badge is fucking spotless love, is yours? There is a large French market going on outside Primark this weekend, and work is accompanied by more or less continuous French sounding music. It's probably a bad idea. It gives members of the general public a chance to air their political views, which frankly, is less than anyone wants. Xenophobia ranged from the light hearted, 'wouldn't go there mate, hairy legs and all that,' to extremes which it's probably best for everyone concerned I don't regurgitate.
In the absence of any authentic Primark carrier bags, we were going with plain white today, a decision which infuriated one woman, who argued that 'she didn't want her clothes to look like some cheap market knock offs or anything'. No sorry, that should have ready 'anyfing' - Apologies. To be honest, I'm not sure whether it was her gold hoop earrings, her Chinese writing tattoo, or the pram she was pushing, but I didn't think we were going to have call Quincy out on his day off on this one. 'Cheap' was a word she was going to have to get used to hearing loud and often, Primark bag or no Primark bag. The following customer screamed at me for not knowing where New Look was, and came in a full fifteen minutes to tell us that she'd found it on her own, and that we were all 'idiots'. That may be true, but my badge is fucking spotless love, is yours? There is a large French market going on outside Primark this weekend, and work is accompanied by more or less continuous French sounding music. It's probably a bad idea. It gives members of the general public a chance to air their political views, which frankly, is less than anyone wants. Xenophobia ranged from the light hearted, 'wouldn't go there mate, hairy legs and all that,' to extremes which it's probably best for everyone concerned I don't regurgitate.
aaa
I don't know if the over 60's read my Primark blog. They might enjoy it a lot, and I might be about to make a huge mistake in saying this, but frankly it's a market I feel I can survive without pandering too. In Alex Land (patent pending) old people could, and must be banned from all places of retail. Among the better ones today, 'chip and pin? I don't know what that is! I can't remember all these numbers!' Firstly, how has this woman survived the last year and a half? How has she bought food? Does she just barter poetry and items of equivalent value with people? Secondly, it's a four digit number. A monkey can memorise a four digit number. Are you a monkey? This is completely fucking ridiculous. The women proceeded to give up on the card (and leave it in the machine) and pay me with her back up method, a pocket full of 'cash'. This consisted mostly of buttons, house keys, and fluff.
I don't know if the over 60's read my Primark blog. They might enjoy it a lot, and I might be about to make a huge mistake in saying this, but frankly it's a market I feel I can survive without pandering too. In Alex Land (patent pending) old people could, and must be banned from all places of retail. Among the better ones today, 'chip and pin? I don't know what that is! I can't remember all these numbers!' Firstly, how has this woman survived the last year and a half? How has she bought food? Does she just barter poetry and items of equivalent value with people? Secondly, it's a four digit number. A monkey can memorise a four digit number. Are you a monkey? This is completely fucking ridiculous. The women proceeded to give up on the card (and leave it in the machine) and pay me with her back up method, a pocket full of 'cash'. This consisted mostly of buttons, house keys, and fluff.
aaa
Amongst other things of note, I served next to 'Craig' today. He's a scary guy. Some choice comments I thought important, 'Come to me my precious customers, my sweet customers, I am Lord of the Clothes!' I became overcome by a sinking feeling that I was going to be hacked to death and stored in a freezer somewhere. I could picture the headlines now. 'UEA Student outwitted and murdered by oaf'. After telling him he was 'a complete fucking state', Craig spent the remainder of his shift hitting me with clothes hangers. Lessons must be learnt.
Amongst other things of note, I served next to 'Craig' today. He's a scary guy. Some choice comments I thought important, 'Come to me my precious customers, my sweet customers, I am Lord of the Clothes!' I became overcome by a sinking feeling that I was going to be hacked to death and stored in a freezer somewhere. I could picture the headlines now. 'UEA Student outwitted and murdered by oaf'. After telling him he was 'a complete fucking state', Craig spent the remainder of his shift hitting me with clothes hangers. Lessons must be learnt.
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