To Twitter or Not to Twitter?

By Alex Allen

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It's a slippery slope becoming an old person. And I know that 70 is the 50 etc etc, but have you noticed that it's generally 70 year olds that say that? Before you know it, you're holding on to that veneer panelled 21" television because it 'works perfectly well' and does 'everything you need'. This is a stupid argument in itself, who actually needs a television? Nobody. It's a total luxury in itself, in terms of an actual use, it doesn't have one. There's only one end to that depressing situation, buying your electrical goods from the Co-Op department store because 'you trust it and they're reliable', and basing you next hifi on the criteria of 'being sturdy'. I refuse to let this happen to me. I'm going to be the exception to that rule, I'm going to change history, you'll see. Having made these points, I find it extremely important not to lose sight of the next big thing. I refuse to be the stubborn friend that refuses to sign up to facebook because they prefer their simple life. Of course, in the end, everybody caves in that respect, usually under the guise that they've 'just joined to look at the photos'. The trouble with Twitter is, I just don't get it. Obviously I understand what it does, I'm not an idiot, I just don't find what it does that is particularly useful. If you don't know what Twitter is, essentially it's another user generated content website that gives you 140 characters to let the world know what you're doing at any given time. It's like a website with just the facebook status updates and nothing else. That's great if you lead an full, exciting life which warrants a minute by minute update.
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Mine doesn't. In fact, usually the reason I'm logging in to Twitter is because I'm doing nothing. What am I really doing? Probably lounging on the sofa watching the Half Ton Son. Who wants to read about that? If I was out gallivanting round the west end, watching musicals, and eating in expensive restaurants the last thing I'd be concerning myself with is whether or not I'd updated my band of Twitter followers or not. The trouble is, I trust Stephen Fry. Generally, if I don't agree with him about something it's because I'm wrong, so I feel a bit unsure about condemning something he support so passionately. Still, I think my argument is still founded. Stephen Fry is interesting, he does interesting things, and there are thousands of people who are interested in reading about them. As a celebrity update service, which humanises celebrities and lets us, the public, see what they're up to, what they think, and goes deeper than their portrayal as a brand, it's really good. Unfortunately, few celebrities are willing to put their head on the block by revealing their own personal feelings and opinions about the world, there are simply too many media pitfalls. Nobody wants to be the next Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, Ross can get away with it - he can do pretty much whatever he wants, but nobody else could. So while a few give their own personal updates, there are a great deal more 'official' celebrity accounts reeling off details of their next cookery book, book signing, gig or signature clothing range. I think it's ultimately facebook for the famous, it's a way for celebrities to give an impression of keeping up with the modern age with little effort. As with all websites based on user generated content, as popularity snowballs it will find itself more and more vulnerable to a sea of advertising which will devour that aspect, too. People will grow tired of sifting through details of the new Mitchell and Webb DVD for something interesting to read. For the common person, I'm not convinced it has even that brief lifespan. These websites rely on new content, on there being something new and interesting to look at. People stalk their friends, look at photos, play around with applications. Will people keep coming back to Twitter to find out what I had for breakfast? I doubt it. Yes people are joining, probably to find out what all the hype is about, I don't think the majority of these people will come back again.